I got to attend the Pump and Dump comedy show on Mother’s Day eve this year at the Paramount in Denver. I went in expecting a typical comedy show with a few stand up comedians and lots of jokes. What the show delivered was much more than I anticipated!

Shayna and Tracey did more than just comedy, they created a deep sense of community in that theater. Motherhood can be full of moments of uncertainty and loneliness while we wonder if we are doing the right thing. Being in a room full of mothers that can relate to what you are going through, laugh about it with you and share relatable stories was so uplifting. I had no idea Shayna was such a talented musician. Much of the show is made up of a series of hilarious songs that seem to hit the nail on head when it comes to being a mom. My favorite of these funny and some what naughty songs is called “Parental Lovin”… for a good laugh listen below.

The show also included some sweet videos to and from members of the audience. These were kind, inspiring and touching messages about what an awesome job everyone is doing as a mother. In a society full of shaming, judgment and comparison, it was so refreshing to see so many mamas come together, support each other and cheer each other on during this crazy parenting journey. This is as they call it the #bandofmothers. We need more of this community in our lives.

After the show, to encourage the continued support of other mothers, they handed out #bandofmothers bracelets and “you’re an awesome mom” cards. Imagine if the next time you see another mom who’s kid is loosing their mind in the middle of the grocery store, or on the playground or in a restaurant, if we washed away the judgment that can sometimes flood our minds and returned to a place of empathy. How awesome would it be to give them one of these cards or even just tell them what an amazing job they are doing? This would change the world… truly. So my hope is that you will join me and the band of mothers and vow to support one another in our journeys. We may not walk the same path or have the same values but we all need love and support to give our children our version of the best.

Cheers, Mamas!

I would love to see your mama tribe so use the hashtag #bandofmothers so we can all continue to cheer each other on!

There are so many good shows out there these days and I’m always asking friends what they are into. I decided to break down the top 10 new shows on my must watch list. So if you are looking for something to fill your evening TV time here are my suggestions:

1. This is Us

Ok if you haven’t seen this show STOP what you are going right now and go watch it NOW!! This truly might be my favorite show of all time. This has the best casting, the best story and the most relatable plot I have ever seen. I would look forward to watching this all week and I think I cried at some point during every episode but it was so worth it! Seriously go watch it ASAP!

2. Billions

Damian Lewis is one hell of an actor and pull off every role so well. Pair him with Paul Giamatti and you’ve got quite the show. Both men are after each other and use their own mischievous ways to try and bring each other down. This season’s finale was SO good and I definitely recommend checking it out!

3. Grace and Frankie

If you follow me you know how much I love this show. Lilly Tomlin and Jane Fonda are such funny counterparts and they will keep you laughing during every episode. I hope I am half as cool as them when I grow up!

4. Ballers

Raise your hand if you love the Rock! No but for real Dwayne Johnson all dressed up in fancy suits, yes please! This show is all about sports managers and give you a fun look at that realm.

5. Game of Thrones

I swore at the beginning when my husband started watching it that I wouldn’t because I happened to walk in during one horribly graphic scene. He later convinced me to just watch a little bit and dang it if I wasn’t hooked. Typically I am not into the fantasy storylines but this show has a good mix between fantasy and reality. There are such a variety of characters to follow that it keeps you hooked on what adventure is next. Also… to warn you… don’t get hooked on any characters because most likely they will die at some point during the show!

6. Blindspot

This is one of the newer crime solver shows but I like the spin this show has taken. They also have some fresh face actors that aren’t as well known which I enjoy. If you enjoy the mystery and crime stopper shows mixed with a little love then tune in.

7. Love

This show is awkward and hilarious and leaves you wanting just a little more every time. This is the most unlikely of love stories but the real life uncomfortable moments make it fun to watch.

8. Shameless

So this show is not very new… in fact season 7 just aired but I got into it a bit late. I will openly say this show is deeply deeply messed up. There have been many times my mind could hardly cope with what went on, BUT it is equally as funny. The cast is amazing and you are left cheering for them and their success after each episode.

9. Bloodline

Another Netflix original that is off the charts. The first season will have you hooked big time. The deep dark secrets of one family are brought to the surface and you follow as they try to cover things up. The second season was a bit slower but was a great build up of what’s to come in season 3.

10. Orange is the New Black

Ok again this is not a super new show but it is worth mentioning if you haven’t seen it. The storyline evolves each season and constantly focuses on new characters. It is a great dive into where each character is from and how they ended up where they did.

Just for fun these are some of my favorite shows of all time… if you haven’t seen them binge watch your heart out:

1. Friends

I mean duh… who hasn’t seen this? No explanation necessary.

2. Sex and the City

New York, Shoes and Love… what more could a girl ask for!

3. Parenthood

I was late to the Parenthood bandwagon but this is such an incredible show. First off the cast is phenomenal. The storylines are relatable and it is an overall feel good family show… you know like the kind we had in the 90’s when I was growing up!

4. Nurse Jackie

Edie Falco is one of my all time favorite actresses. She goes so deep into her characters and this show will grip you in so many ways. It is also an interesting look at addiction and the different ways it can play out for people.

5. Rob and Big

First off let me just say that I am heartbroken and devastated by the passing of Big Black. This  is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. It is so fun to watch the unstoppable friendship of Rob and Big and all the hilarious things they do. One of my roommates and I once spent a weekend watching every episode. We laughed, we cried, we ate cake decorated in the shows honor and it will forever be one of my favorite weekends of all time.

6. Homeland

This show is a rollercoaster. The storyline has evolved over the years but the action keeps you hooked no matter what.  Damian Lewis stars in the earlier season you will be gripped by his character.

7. Felicity

This is a feel good 90’s college story about a girl in New York. I love so many things about this romantic take on the dorm years.

8. Entourage

You may or may not know this but Entourage is based loosely on Mark Wahlberg’s real life. The actors are remarkable in their roles and it will leave you wishing you had your own clan to live richly with.

9. Dexter

Dexter is a dark show… it took my husband quite awhile to convince me to watch it but shortly into it I was hooked. The story cleverly mixes darkness with the good in people.

10. King of Queens

This is just a fun and funny show that will make you laugh non-stop. The couple reminds me of my husband and I so I always got a kick out of their witty banter.

I always love hearing about what new shows people are into so let me know what your favorites are in the comments below. ALSO, I love movies but with two little babies it is a rarity that we get to go see them. Let me know what movies you have enjoyed recently so I can rent them!

Hope everyone has a fun filled Memorial Day weekend!

First off let me start by saying you are brave and in for an adventure. Whether it’s one baby or two, there is a lot of work involved when traveling with babies. My mom and I took our first trip with the twins and quite frankly I was exhausted afterwards. Here are some of the things I learned along the way:

I would first start by asking your friends that have traveled with babies if they have any helpful advice, because lets be real we learn from those around us. Trying to research on the internet can be overwhelming, so I started by calling a twin mom friend of mine and asking her what I should know. She was able to answer some of my questions and gave me some good ideas about what to expect. I then poked around online a little to dig deeper into some of my questions.

Before booking your tickets I would consider flight times and length. I would recommend trying to book around nap time in hopes that your kiddos might sleep on the flight. If the flight is more than 4 hours I would recommend booking in the evening, again hoping your babies will either sleep on the flight or as soon as you arrive to your destination.

If your babies are under two they can fly for free and sit on your lap. You will need to bring a copy of their birth certificate because they will issue a pass for them to get through security. Without a birth certificate and or passport most airlines will not issue a ticket for the baby. I have a friend that learned this the hard way and lost a lot of money by missing their flight since they didn’t have proper documentation.

We were flying Southwest which was awesome because we were able to check 4 bags for free. One bag was my moms, one bag contained both of our car seat bases and the other two bags were a combination of my pump, all baby items and all of my necessities. Honestly it would have been hard to go with less items. With careful planning and packing this was the minimum amount of luggage we could make the trip with. We definitely would have had a hard time handling more but it would have been tough with less.

If you can do curbside check in this will make your life much easier so that you are not hauling luggage and babies through the airport. It is worth the $5 tip every time! Once our bags were checked we headed for security.

Getting through security was an interesting experience. What I learned is that you need to have a plan of attack to make it as quick and painless as possible. For starters allow yourself plenty of extra time. It is inevitable that you will have to stop to change diapers, clean spit up or an unexpected blowout! It is a good idea to carry with you an extra 10% of food and diapers so you are covered for any unexpected troubles along the way. As we approached the end of the security line we prepped all that we could. We put the babies in the carriers strapped to us. I did not realize before we got up to the belt that the car seats would need to be removed from the stroller and put on the belt to go through the security scanner. My bag was prepped and ready to go so that was easy to pop off the stroller and send through. The item for the biggest potential delay is breast milk. To minimize time and inspection I put the milk in 2.5oz bottles. I packed only enough for our flight and arrival. Being in 2.5oz bottles meant that they did not have to open and test each container. I was not a fan of the idea of test strips in my milk so I took this approach to avoid it. Hard ice packs are also allowed to keep milk cold. Luckily there is a Starbucks in every corner of every airport so warming milk was simple. By having our items organized it allowed for an easy reset of everything once we were cleared. I cannot tell you how much I recommend the norwex travel pack of EnviroCloths. These are a powerful non-toxic cleaning tool. The cloths work wet or dry and it was nice to have something to wipe down the car seats with after being on the belt. I also used them to wipe my hands, the kids and parts of our rental car.

After making it to the terminal we knocked out all portions of our routine so we were ready for the smoothest flight possible. We stopped so the kids could eat, we changed them, fed ourselves and headed to the gate. When you arrive at the gate your stroller, car seats and any other large items will need a gate check tag. Typically they only allow 2 gate check items per ticketed passenger so keep that in mind. Right before boarding we put the babies back in the body carriers and broke down all portions of our bag and stroller that we could avoid holding up the line to get on the plane. Keep in mind that everything needs to be removed from the car seats and there cannot be any loose items. I also hooked and tightened all my straps to avoid catching, tearing or breaking. At the end of the jet way we dropped our stroller and car seats. I highly recommend having some toys for the kids that you can attach to the carrier. We used these books with a hook , this pacifier clip and the dropper stopper is an awesome option to hook your child’s favorite toy to you. The rest of our items were in this amazing Vera Bradley Bag. This bag was awesome because it was big enough to hold everything we needed to carry on in one bag. The zipper also expands the bag to give you much more space once you arrive if you need to change or add items to it.

A wise tip I got from my fellow twin mom friend is that you cannot have two lap children in the same 3 seat row. Luckily I knew this in advance so my mom and I set out to make sure we could get two aisle seats next to each other. We paid for early boarding with Southwest since seats are not assigned and it was well worth it. Another thing I like about Southwest is that it allows for people that love kids to choose to sit next to you vs getting suck next to someone that will only be bothered by kids and will give you dirty looks the whole time! We were fortunate to sit next to some amazing people and that helped lessen my anxiety with the whole experience.   Another thing I didn’t realize before taking off was that the kids would have to be taken out of the baby carriers. Apparently having them strapped to you is unsafe during takeoff and landing so they need to be freely out. That makes no sense to me but it would have helped to know that in advance.

When you arrive allow plenty of time to gather all your goods, feed babies, change diapers, etc. We didn’t realize how long it would take us to do all of this and also how long it would take us to get settled into our rental car. Remember you will need to install both car seats, which can take a fair amount of time depending on the style seat you have. I also highly recommend upgrading to a midsize car. You simply just won’t fit in the small cheap ones with two car seats, bags and a stroller.

When you book your hotel notify them in advance if you will need cribs, a fridge or anything else because if you arrive and haven’t notified them these items can be hard to come by. Our fridge was key for keeping milk cold and if you are using bottles this travel drying rack was a lifesaver. I found it important to bring my kids sleep suits, sound machine and a few toys from their nursery to make them feel comfortable and at home in our hotel room. This helped keep us on our regular sleep schedule. We also opted for a suite style room so we could shut the bedroom door and stay up after they went to sleep.

Overall… simplifying is a worthy investment. Do what you can to make this process easy on yourself. Laugh along the way because many things won’t go as planned but it will definitely be an adventure!

What are you tips for traveling with babies? I would love to hear what has worked for you!

Summer is here… can you even believe it?? I am headed out to Austin this weekend for the RISE conference and I could not be more excited! I have been a little burnt out recently and just feeling like I need a reset. The timing for this weekend of inspiration and motivation could not be better. I am so excited to make new friends, meet some business women I admire and relax. For my playlist this month I created a list of some of my favorite new songs and a few old ones that I always go back to.   I can’t wait to listen to this on my travels this weekend. The title has nothing to do with it but its summer and watermelon popsicles are delicious so here you have it:

This past month I have been on a big summer burgers kick! There are so many delicious recipes out there. Here are my top three favorite recipes that my family and I are newly addicted to:

Meal Plan Addict- Sweet Chili Chicken Burgers

I had never made chicken burgers prior to this and let me just say these burgers will knock your socks off. They are spicy and sweet and just little heavenly patties of goodness. Best part? They are so quick and easy to make!

Skinnytaste- Turkey Zucchini Burgers

Hello healthy and filling dinner! These burgers are full of so much goodness! They are juicy and the salad topping makes the perfect combo. These were so good I could have eaten two the last time we made them!

Pinch of Yum- Spicy Cauliflower Burgers

I mean come on! Need I say more? These are freakin amazing and definitely need to be a staple in your summer mean plans.

You guys I need some movie recommendations. With two kids we never seem to make it to the movies anymore so on demand rentals are pretty much all we get. I feel like I always see previews for when movies are in theaters and think oh I want to watch that but can never find anything that looks interesting in the rentals section. The best movie we watched most recently was called Danny Collins. Never expected to love it as much as we did. Tell me what recent movies you are into!

I just finished reading Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. What an inspiring book. I felt like she was talking directly to me! The book is about slowing down the daily hustle and returning to our roots. Shauna guides you through her journey of quitting over achieving and going back to the simple things in life that make us most happy. It is a great reminder about what is most important and I related to her story so much. I highly recommend any of Shauna’s books! Shauna also just started a podcast and I have loved every episode so far. She is great at interviewing and her guests have covered a wide range of topics. If you are into podcasts check it out because you will be hooked.

Lastly, have you heard of the app called Ibotta? I discovered this through a friend and it is awesome to get rebates on things like groceries, alcohol and other household items you regularly purchase. I started using it about 5 weeks ago and I have already earned a $20 gift card.

As always I love to hear what things you are into this month so let me know in the comments below!

Yes I know I am late to the game! But… better late than never right?!? In an effort to continually expand my knowledge I paid attention to some of the big names I follow on social media and randomly listened to a podcast one of them had suggested. I very quickly fell in love. Awesome people, awesome info… perfect for the car or when you get ready in the morning. Best part is that they are FREE!! They have podcasts for every category. If you are not familiar all you have to do is go to iTunes or your iPhone look for the image above and search a subject, name or category. As a new business owner and entrepreneur, listening to different people in various fields has led to a lot of growth for me and my mindset. I also feel like I have grown in other ways by listening to different podcasts with life hacks, tips and tricks.   I highly encourage you to search a category you are interested in and see if any of them resonate with you.

I have dived into a few different categories of podcasts and I have listed some of my favorites below. With some of them I have listed a specific episode to check out if I have a favorite. I would LOVE to hear what podcasts you enjoy, so please let me know in the comments below.

Check these out and let me know what you think!

Business

Dais by Rachel Hollis

My girl Rachel rocks this podcast just like she rocks everything else! The guest lineup is incredible. Such a wealth of knowledge and great tips to be discovered. One of my favorite episodes is #4 with Brit Barron. Brit has a passion for educating others about race and she has just the right approach to be able to teach us all something new.

Story Brand

Episode 37 changed my life… I am not even kidding it is that good! Go listen to it now!

EntreLeadership

Everything I have listened to on this podcast has been awesome. Episode #208 has one of my favorites, Mel Robbins and the second half was a fascinating look at sleep patters, how to get better sleep and things that effect our sleep.

Grit and Glitter

This podcast has 3 episodes a week and I enjoy the varied content and varied length of episodes. This podcast is being re-branded and will return in August as The Real Female Entrepreneur podcast. One of my favorite episodes is with the lovely Jessica Honegger so check out #113.

How I Built This

Incredible info from all kinds of business leaders about building up to where they are today. It is amazing to learn from people from all walks of life that have different goals in mind because we can learn from each of them.

Food Blogger Pro

If you are interested in blogging, especially as a business, this is a great podcast. While it is food blogging based, it has so much good info that you can apply to all aspects of blogging. Bjork, the host, has a gentle personality and he is full of wisdom.

Goal Digger

This podcast has tons of great advice on social media, how to take your business to the next level and things in the industry that are changing. If you own a business and are looking for ways to stay “in the know”, this is packed full of information.

Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert is so wonderful and this podcast is all about overcoming your fears and living the artistic life you were intended for. Everyone can learn from this podcast and I have only listened to a few episodes but I am hooked!

The Influencer Podcast

All about marketing, blogging and business. So many ideas on ways to grow your business, stay current and create exciting content that is unique.

Personal Growth/Entertainment

Awesome with Alison

This podcast could easily fall in the business category because Alison’s advice is relevant to so many areas of life. Her husband Erik brings a nice balance to her loud personality and together they deliver incredible content each week.

Mom and Dad Made a Podcast

This is a fun podcast to listen to if you have kids. Hailey runs the blog household mag and Zack is a writer. Together they are entertaining and are currently traveling the world with their toddler. It has been fun to follow along on their journey.

Shauna Niequist

Shauna is an author of some of my favorite books and feels like the girlfriend we all need in our life. Her guest list covers various life topics and each one is so fun and unique. I am excited for season 2!

The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey

If you don’t know about Jamie Ivey you should. She is remarkable in many ways and her podcast is such a great way to learn and truly feels like you are at a happy hour with friends. I highly recommend it!

Extraordinary Moms

This is a great look at moms from all different parts of the motherhood journey. I love learning from other mamas and you should check this out if you do to!

Podcasts to watch for:

Jen Hatmaker- For the Love- LAUNCHING IN JULY

I had the pleasure of meeting Jen at an event a few weeks ago and what an incredible person. She is so genuine and real. I cannot wait for her podcast to launch because she is an amazing writer and I am sure she will be an equally amazing interviewer.

…And if I had one dream for a podcast it would be for Brene Brown to create something. Please please make a podcast so I can continue to learn from your infinite wisdom!

Happy listening and learning!

This is the perfect patriotic punch for your 4th of July party!!

For the twins first birthday I wanted to make a fun drink that people could enjoy and somehow tie it into our party theme. I had become obsessed with our last blueberry lemonade cocktail and decided to play around with other renderings. It didn’t take long because let me tell you this stuff is delish! I made this in a large batch since we were serving a large group of people:

1.5 1-liter bottles of Smirnoff strawberry vodka

2 bottles of simply blueberry lemonade

1 half gallon of regular lemonade

Serve on ice

To add some extra flare I froze blueberries in our large ice cube tray. This way the drink looks like it has blueberries floating throughout vs. all at the top. I love this large ice cube tray for so many different things!

Since the twins birthday theme was twinkle twinkle little star I was searching for a cute way to include stars. The answer… Jicama! Jicama was perfect because I could cut out pieces with a cookie cutter!   It also has a very bland flavor so it didn’t affect the taste of the drink. Since it is white it has the perfect contrast with the purple punch. Jicama is also very crunchy and didn’t get soggy while soaking in the drink all day. You could cut out any design to make it correlate with your theme party.

This drink is also awesome as a single cocktail if you’re not serving an entire group. I would recommend 1 part strawberry vodka, 2.5 parts blueberry lemonade and one party regular lemonade.

Bottoms up!

Last February my kids began speech therapy.  I knew speech delays were common among twins so I had been hyper aware of their speech progression.  I decided to check in with their pediatrician at their 18-month visit.  He wasn’t overly concerned but said they should have a few more words than they did.  He wrote a recommendation to have them evaluated and we set up the appointment.  Much to my surprise I was told that all the speech therapy services were free to the family.  What an insane blessing it is that the government funds this program.  After our evaluation, both kids qualified for services each week.

A few weeks later we were matched with a therapist and setup our first appointment.  I was excited to dive into this with my kids and start making progress to get them where they needed to be.  We were lucky to get paired with a seasoned therapist and I was fascinated by all of her games, tips and methods of working with children.  More than anything this year in speech therapy has been a huge learning experience for myself.  For kids under 3 it is the therapists job to train parents how to work with their children on speech development.  The therapy is play based activities and while Mary, our therapist, was coaching the kids she was truly training me how I could approach regular activities to allow them to help with speech progression.  This was exciting and very eye opening.  I was eager to adjust the way I had been doing things and to be honest I wanted every single toy she used so I could replicate what she was doing.

It didn’t take long for judgements from others to start rolling in.  I can’t tell you how many people thought I was crazy and told me they didn’t need speech therapy.  I heard a lot of, “oh they will talk soon don’t worry”, or “wow speech therapy but they are so young”, and “you’ll get them to talk and then it will never stop so don’t rush it”.  All of these external judgments had me feeling and little uneasy and insecure.  It kept happening over and over with people until I almost was afraid to mention it.  There were also several times that people wouldn’t say anything but used their nods and other gestures to let me know they were silently judging me.  I could also feel when other parents puffed up and would make comments about all the intellectual success their kids were having.  If I didn’t have my parent coach training I think this could have crumbled me!  My goal as a parent coach is always to create a judgment free space for all that I come in contact with.  This job is hard enough, we don’t need anyone else to make us feel bad.  We also judge ourselves and I continually remind myself that all children develop in different ways and at different paces.  No child is ever better than another because we are all on our own unique journey.

As our time went on I was grappling with trying to figure out why people thought this was a bad or an unnecessary thing.  I cleared it out of my mind by focusing on the fact that the experts felt it was beneficial for my kids.  That worked for a while and then I then I started to feel the constant insecurity of my kids being the ones that were “behind”.   One of the biggest learning curves for me is that speech therapy is an incredibly slow process and I happen to be a fairly impatient person.  Every time one of these feelings would pop up the universe would slap me in the face with a reality check.  There was a particular morning I had arrived at my kid’s gym class and I was feeling all the emotions and as I sat there a mom walked out of the suite next to the gym with her son who was autistic.  He was having a hard time and was frustrated about getting in the car.  Seeing that other mom’s patience reminded me how incredibly blessed I was to have such a minor issue and such incredible support to work through it.

About 6 months in to therapy we brought in an occupational therapist.  More than anything I learned that occupational therapy many times is not what you would expect!  This was a critical turning point especially for my daughter.  Through the therapy we discovered she had a milk allergy that was effecting so many aspects of her development.  It is fascinating to me that a healthy child who didn’t get sick with milk and had drank it every day for more than a year, could have an allergy like that.  Once we switched to almond milk Olivia’s speech, appetite, attitude and attention span all improved DRAMATICALLY!!!  This discovery has been such a gift!

I have talked to a lot of other Mom’s whose husbands or friends advise them against therapy.  I can understand their hesitation and heartache.  I have been so inspired by this journey and know there are many families out there who need help and aren’t getting it.  Here is what helped me work though the shaming from others and my own processing of it all:

1) Scheduled learning time

I started to view our therapy sessions as scheduled learning time.  Often we will play games, play outside or make crafts but therapy is an awesome time for us to stop each week and learn something new.  The kids get tons of practice and I learn new tips and ways to work on things with them.  Viewing it this way allowed me to silence all the judgements and focus on what was most important.

2) Early intervention is always best

The more I study and the more professionals I talk with it is clear that the earlier the intervention, the better especially in these situations.  Waiting for others to approve or assuming the problem will resolve itself only put kids at a further disadvantage.

3) Removing my own agenda

I say this all the time to parents I coach and I often have to remind myself that if our agendas are always in the way, we cannot give our kids the tools they need to work through things.   If I had let my insecurities, patience or negative self-talk get in the way we wouldn’t be where we are today.  My kids have made amazing strides and I am so proud of the work we have done.  I always knew in my gut it was the right thing but silencing the negative mental messages we give ourselves takes a lot of effort.  While this therapy is for my children, I have learned a lot about myself in the process.  I will forever feel more comfortable in choosing what I think is right for my kids instead of listening to the shame others project!

Dear Every Mother of a Two Year Old…

Hang in there, mama!  Hang in there!

I find almost every day I am having a pep talk with myself that this is just a season.  Because this “season” some days feels like its going to kill me.  Two years old, feels like the pressure cooker of seasons.  They don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing!  The tantrums are on a new level and kids are learning to talk and ask a million questions.  Then let’s top it off with all the things we have to think about during this phase….  preparing for pre-school, potty training, switching to toddler beds and more!  Ummm hello stress!  All of these things are a lot on their own but roll them up together with toddler meltdowns and its enough to drive you to crazy town.  Like I said I have to constantly tell myself it is just a season!

I think we should refer to this phase as the tornado twos.  This age is magical in the sense of seeing more and more of our kids personalities come out.  They are also still small enough to be so adorable that you will sometimes overlook the annoying thing they just did.  You can feel their smallness slipping away each day and you want to hold on and then two seconds later you are slapped in the face with that tornado and you just need.the.day.to.freakin.end!

So if you are floating in this life raft with me… let’s do happy hour! Just kidding (kind of)! Let’s work on giving ourselves a little break.  If you forget something, forgive yourself.  If you can’t keep it all straight in your head, forgive yourself.  If you feel like screaming and it’s only 10am, find a pillow and let it out!  If you feel like crying because you are convinced you are failing, put those kids to bed, pour a glass of wine and let it all out.  If you feel like you are drowning, ask for help.  If you need a drink, don’t feel guilty, pour two.  If you feel like the stress is aging your once flawless face, take 30 and go put on a mask.  If you feel like you’ll never survive all the big milestones to come, you are not alone, and we will figure all of it out.  One day at a time!

If you are the friend/family of someone with a two year old (or 2 two year olds in my case) give them a hug, send encouragement, take the kids to the park, bring wine, love and forgive them for the short term memory loss.

At the end of the day, know this… you’ve got this mama.  You’re a fighter, a warrior and your kids are lucky to have a mom as invested as you.  Savor the moments of joy that interrupt the chaos, because those moments are what make life worth living!  You will make it through this season!

One question I get asked over and over again is what books I recommend for parents.  I have a recommended reading list on my website peaceatheartparenting.com but I have a new favorite book that has jumped to the top of the list!  Parent Speak by Jennifer Lehr is now my favorite parenting book I have ever read!

I have read a ton of parenting books.  Some are better than others and some hit closer to home.  The problem I find with a lot of parenting books is that they are either over the top, too preachy or focus only on what our kids need to change vs looking at our role as parents.  Here is the thing about Parent Speak, it is so relatable!  This book is pretty universal because it discusses all the things we have heard and said a million times.  I also love how Jennifer wrote this book from a parent’s perspective and not from an expert lecture perspective.  She walks you through all of her own internal battles of fighting against the idea and how she came to see the other side.  She also uses some amazing research and life experiences to support every chapter.

Parent Speak breaks down 14 of the most common phrases we use as parents and the damage they can cause.  Let’s face it our words have value.  As parents, we are sculpting young minds.  Our words and actions literally contribute to the formation of different portions of our children’s brains.  More than anything our words become their inner dialogue and so we need to choose wisely.  The other brilliant thing Jennifer does is walk you through what to say instead of these phrases.  I love good tangible advice!

As a parent I found this book fascinating on so many levels… but as a human in general it is intriguing.  I feel that if every person read this book and applied the simple shifts it could change the world.  This book is valuable to anyone who is around children whether you are a parent or not.  I also found myself reflecting on my own life so many times throughout the book, like where my people pleasing tendencies stem from or how I felt about being tickled.

I cannot tell you the last time I got out a pen and highlighter and underlined a book.  Let me tell you just about every page of this book has a marking on it because the content is so good.

So, if you are looking for easy ways to parent more peacefully, respect your children and their emotions then check out Parent Speak and let me know what you think in the comments below!

Keep an eye on Peace at Heart Parenting social media because I am going to be hosting a giveaway and some live videos to discuss portions of the book in more depth.

Click below if you would like to learn more or order the book:

  Parent Speak

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned as a parent is that we need to stop fixing and start listening.  This is so hard.  Most days our natural instinct is to jump in, resolve the issue, so we can move on and not stay stuck in another child meltdown.  We also can’t endlessly coddle our children.  However, have you ever just tried listening?  Like really listening?  Not removing yourself or your love, just stopping and letting your child get out all the things they are feeling?

I know what you are probably thinking… I don’t have time for that.  Here’s the thing, I learned that most times if I take this approach, we move through issues that come up much faster.  By not shutting down my kid’s emotions they get to feel it.  Unpleasant or not how can we ever learn to deal with things, or what we really feel if we are always being rushed through our emotions?  We can’t.  These emotions get stuffed away in our “emotional backpack” as Dr. Laura Markham calls it.  When our backpack is full we start whining, fighting, crying and melting down over all the ridiculous things that can happen in a day.

As a parent, I constantly catch myself fighting this teaching.  I want to offer another toy as a distraction, kiss the scraped need and tell them to brush it off, or ignore an over the top reaction.  Every time this happens I usually spend lots of time trying to correct the fall out.  I have learned over and over that sometimes we just need to be a sounding board even when our heart screams “fix it” because we don’t want our kids to experience uncomfortable emotions.

A few weeks ago, my son was having a tough day.  Whiney, not eating well and being very territorial about his toys.  He was playing with his twin sister after nap time and she snagged one of the trucks he was trying to line up.  He lost it.  Over the top, screaming, yelling, crying, kicking, flailing… all of it.  After about two minutes of trying to help him calm down I was ready to lose my sh*t!  He wouldn’t calm down and trying to hold him was getting harder and harder because he is so strong now.  I decided to take him in the kitchen and put him in his highchair so he could safely get out all of his frustration.  This was safer for me and for his sister.  Sometimes we just have to motor it out.  When I put him in there I stood in front of him by the counter so I never lost connection with him but was about 3 feet away so he could flail all he wanted.  He kicked, screamed and hit the tray for about 4 minutes.  Throughout that for minutes I repeatedly told him “I hear you and I know you’re upset”.  Once he started to slightly calm I got down on eye level and started talking to him about what happened.  After another 1 minute or so he stopped… as if all the frustration had left his body.  He put his hands on the end of the tray and I asked if I could hold his hands.  He nodded and I stood there for another minute rubbing his hands and talking to him and the last of his tears fell.

This was such an amazing moment.  I could feel his relief.  I could feel that he wasn’t giving up or giving in but instead had processed his emotions and was ready to move on.  When he was fully settled I asked if he was ready to get up and we went back to the play room.  He returned his happy self and went on to play the rest of the day without issues.

It would have been so easy to yell and scream at him for his behavior.  I could have stuck him in that chair as a time out and left him alone.  However, when he is alone I can’t teach him anything.  Leaving him alone could also feel like I was removing my love which makes kids insecure and more likely to act out again.  My son deserves to know that he is still loved and loveable even when he is having a hard time.  Young kids have such a hard time processing their emotions because there is so much chaos in their little brains.  When we try to shut down and fix those feelings it only created more chaos and confusion.  Punishment is defined as “purposely causing another person pain, in an attempt to get that person to do things our way, or else for revenge.  The definition of discipline is to “guide” or to “teach” …. If you think about it we often use these terms interchangeably yet they have very different meanings.  We can still discipline our kids and teach them valuable lessons without stripping them of their emotional self-worth.

I have seen it over and over that once we listen the issue gets resolved.  When we try to fix we the issue continually pops up over and over.  So, in those frustrating moments I use the mantra “be the calm, not the chaos” and I take a breather and figure out what my kids need in that moment and roll from there.  Nine times out of 10 empathy is the answer!